Welcome to season five of GoT! Our patience has finally been rewarded for a new season! We open with a flashback of Little Cersei speaking with a local witch to learn her future. Spoiler alert: Golden crowns.
Then we see Cersei ascending the steps to her fathers wake, passing Margaery, another part of the witches prophesy (someone younger will take her throne). Cersei meets Jamie in the chamber, him as a Kingsguard, watching over their father. (Can I be buried in Tywin Lanister’s outfit!?) Words are exchanged. Jamie warns: “They [those who wait to see Tywin dead] will tear us apart.” Cersei is immediately on the offensive: “Little monster,” Tyrion, “Did you set him free?” she asks Jamie. No answer, but she knows. Moving on she says to Jamie, “He loved you most.” Guilt trip.
Next we go to Tyrion as we see him emerge from the crate. He and Varys are in Pentos, at the home of a merchant colleague of Varys , both were plotting for Targaryen restoration, a supposed failure. “The future is shit just like the past.” Tyrion says before puking.
Daenerys is making Meereen her home, removing old statues and relics of the past. We follow an unsullied as he seeks comfort with a whore. (Are we going to see anything!?? Wouldn’t put it past ’em, but alas…) Soldier just wants to cuddle and feel safe. But as the whore soothes him to sleep, his throat is cut by a man in a mask who is a part of the Sons of the Harpy. We are left with the questions, who are the Sons of the Harpy? and “Why brothels?” for the unsullied.
Next we are at the wall with Jon Snow as he teaches the kid who killed Ygritte how to fight. Jon is summoned by Stannis who asks him in so many words to get the Wildlings to agree to fight for him to take Winterfell from Roose Bolton.
We get to see Sansa (!!!) watching little Robin Arryn practice fighting, she is wearing dark clothes and has dark hair now. She and Little Finger have arranged for Robin’s safe keeping.
On the roadside Brienne of Tarth and Podrick are bickering about squireship. They see a caravan. Inside are Sansa and Little Finger running far away.
Back in King’s Landing, everyone is giving their condolences to Cersei. Lancel, her cousin and former fuckboy, greets her as a new person, looking homeless and with his hair chopped off. He is now of the order of the Sparrow, a worshipper of the seven gods. They have a private conversation about their former relations and how they were wrong.
In another room of the palace, Loras is with his lover. Margaery interrupts something that could have been a pretty hot sex scene. Loras doesn’t care if he’s caught because now that Tywin is dead he doesn’t have to marry Cersei. Margaery eludes to a plan to get rid of her anyway.
Back to Pentos, Tyrion and Varys talk about the “war to come.” Both are done with Westeros. They are looking for a powerful name to rule the throne. Plan to go to Meereen. (OMG it’s going to be so epic!)
Daenerys is asserting herself as queen, her rule or nothing. Her lover Dario has a post-coital conversation about human cock fights and how they aren’t so bad because he used to do them, and–look at him now–he is with the queen. (See all the good that can come from it, Dany?!) But, he reminds her, she is not strong without her dragons, as the supposed Mother of Dragons. She goes to see them in their dungeon and they are so big and angry– one is still on the loose!
Jon Snow talks with Mance Rayder. The Wildling leader doesn’t want to fight for Stannis even though they can be saved from the White Walkers. The consequence of this decision is for Mance to be burned at the stake. “Good luck in the wars to come.” Mance prophesizes. Second mention of the upcoming wars! (Dun dun dun!) “Behold the fate of those who choose the darkness.” Melisandre warns as she lights the pyre. Jon, on the moral high ground, shoots an arrow in Mance, to prevent his suffering.
What a great way to start the season! No Arya though, so I’m sure we’ll see a lot of her in the coming episodes (and more Brienne and Pod, please!).