Greetings, Game of Thrones fans! Sorry for the missing recaps these past two weeks, but 80 Books is back in action. As a reminder, last week Tyrion was kidnapped by Jorah Mormont. This week, we open on an Essosian fisherman getting punched in the face by Jorah so he can steal his boat. Tyrion is in the sand, tied up, trying to escape, but Jorah puts Tyrion in the boat and they sail off.
Next scene, Jamie passes Tarth on the way to Dorne and thinks of Brienne. Bronn asks why they are sailing on a merchant ship, but Jamie evades the question (why are we not bringing soldiers?). Bronn philosiphizes that Dorne is all about “fighting and fucking,” but it’s not likely there will be much fucking when they leave. Bronn suspects Jamie as the father of Myrcella. Also, hints at the suspicion that Jamie set Tyrion free.
Back in King’s Landing, at a small council session, the Master of Coin Mace Tyrell tells Cersei that the Iron Bank is asking for 10% of the loan money back, which they can’t return at this time. Cersei sends Lord Tyrell to the Iron Bank with Ser Meryn to settle better terms. “Small council gets smaller,” notes Qyburn.
Next, Cersei drinks with the High Sparrow. They discuss how the city is faithless. They resurrect a faith-based militant group to serve the justice of the Gods, the Sparrow’s are called. Wine is spilled in the streets, businesses are destroyed, whores are killed in the name of the seven gods. Lancel is marked on the forehead with the symbol of his place as a Sparrow. Loras is arrested for being gay. When Margaery finds out about her brother, she is outraged and demands that Tommen release him from custody. Tommen goes to his mother, but she says the High Sparrow can release Loras. Tommen goes to the High Sparrow, but is taunted in the street and leaves, trying to avoid violence. When he returns to Margaery, she is upset.
At the wall, Stannis’ wife speaks of the weakness of his daughter. Melisandre interrupts the conversation and strokes Stannis’ ego. She speaks of faith and the true king. Meanwhile, Sam assists Jon in recruiting new men to join the Nights Watch. Jon reluctantly accepts men from Roose Bolton, the current Warden of the North. Melisandre arrives as Sam is leaving, asking if Jon will go to Winterfell to help Stannis capture it and remove Bolton. Jon won’t go to Winterfell with Stannis. (He doesn’t know Sansa is there!!!). Melisandre offers her body to Jon. He refuses her advances, he says he’s still in love with Ygritte, still in love with the dead. As Melisandre leaves: “You know nothing, Jon Snow.” Fucking creepy.
Next, Stannis’ daughter comes to his office. “Are you ashamed of me, father?” She knows her mother is ashamed of her. But instead he tells a story about how he did not send her away when she was poisoned with the Greyscale disease. He moved Heaven and Earth to find a cure. “You are Princess Shireen of House Baratheon.” He says. “You are my daughter.” They hug. It’s cute.
In Winterfell, Sansa is hanging out in the crypts, in front of a statue of Aunt Lyanna. Petyr Baelish finds her and tells the story of when Rhaegar Targaryen chose Lyanna Stark after a joust. Their story is told that he eventually kidnapped her and raped her (Rumors we have heard include that Jon Snow is the son of Lyanna and Rhaegar). “Littlefinger” tells Sansa how to prep for incoming Stannis as Baelish is leaving for King’s Landing to speak with Cersei. He kisses Sansa on the lips goodbye. BLECH.
Bronn and Jamie take a boat by night and land in Dorne. In the morning they are ambushed by Dornish guards. Bronn fights them off. Jamie fights one and catches a sword in his gold hand (badass!). They bury the bodies to reduce the chance of being questioned. But it’s too late. Ellaria seeks revenge, in a conversation with the long-awaited Sand Snakes, Oberyn’s daughters, Obara, Tyene, and Nymeria, she asks them to choose war or peace. Fortunately for them, the decision is easy. They captured the sea captain and found out Jamie is in Dorne. They kill the captain and are preparing to fight.
Tyrion doesn’t know Jorah Mormont by looking at him, but he’s able to figure it out by his clothing and sigil. Jorah is taking Tyrion to Daenerys in hopes of winning back her favor. Tyrion is amused because he was going to see her anyway.
Daenerys hears the story from Ser Barristan of how her brother, Rhaegar, would walk among his subjects and sing to them. Daenerys is called to court regarding her ban on the fighting tradition. Meanwhile, the Sons of the Harpy descend into the city, killing soldiers. Grey Worm’s troupe is surrounded. Grey Worm is fighting off more Sons than he can handle, he is the last surviving member of his troupe, but he has been injured. Ser Barristan was walking around the city and sees the attacks start. He comes to Grey Worm’s rescue, but is stabbed in the heart. They are both surrounded and they die from injuries.