UNBOWED, UNBENT, UNBROKEN
Okay, maybe I haven’t been paying much attention to the opening credits, but there was a freaking sand snake!! Bad, controversial shit is about to happen this episode.
We begin with Arya washing dead bodies. For weeks she’s been washing them and sees them being taken away, but she wants to know where they go. Arya says she’s ready to play the “I am no one game” and so the other girl there taunts her with a story of her past, but it was all a lie. Jaqen H’ghar asks Arya where is from in the night. She tells the truth and he whips her. She says she’s done with the game, but he says they are never done.
Next, Jorah and Tyrion chat about their fathers. Jorah doesn’t seem to have any problems with the gray scale yet. Tyrion tells Jorah about how he killed Tywin Lanniser, then he tells Jorah that his father, Commander Mormont, died by mutiny of the Nights Watch. Jorah didn’t know he had died.
Back to Arya scrubbing the floor. Meets a man looking for a healer for his daughter. Arya convinces her to drink the water from the death fountain (which we saw a few episodes ago) by telling her a story of her past, which is a total lie, but it works. Jaqen watches. Next, Arya cleans the body of the girl after she dies. She’s finally allowed to go to the next stage of what happens to the bodies after they are cleaned. Down a dark passage, faces line the walls of a large chamber. Jaqen meets her down there. She’s not ready to become “nobody,” but she’s ready to become someone else.
Tyrion and Jorah continue to Mereen. Tyrion asks “Why Daenerys?” According to Jorah, she represents a greater purpose. “Why is Dany the fit ruler? She’s never been to Westeros.” Tyrion counters. But before he can answer, they run into slavers who capture them. They are trying to decide what to do with them. They decide to sell Jorah to miners and kill Tyrion and sell his cock, but Tyrion says that his cock is no good unless it’s attached when it’s cut off, since dwarf cocks are valuable. “The dwarf lives until we find a cock merchant.” Then Tyrion convinces the slavers to go to Mereen to have Jorah fight in the pits since he’s fough off a bloodrider.
In Kings Landing, Brother Lancel runs into Little Finger, warning him to “Step carefully.” Little Finger is on the watch list because now Kings Landing is “no place for flesh peddlers.”
Petyr and Cersei talk about the new armed faithsmen. She denies giving orders for it. It’s the Kings doing, of course. They banter insults back and forth. Petyr tells Cersei where Sansa is and how she’s to marry Ramsay. (Sansa nooo!!) He counsels Cersei about the impending battle between Stannis and Bolton to avoid her going to Winterfell now. Lannisters can destroy whomever wins that battle. He asks to be Warden of the North if he gives the Erie troops to help the Lannisters. (Creepy master plan to marry Sansa??)
In Dorne, in the palace garden, Myrcella and Trystane Martell kiss and talk about being married. Prince Doran Martell, Oberyn’s brother, reaffirms his position to protect the couple. Jamie and Bronn arrive at the palace by impersonating soldiers. Sand Snakes are off to battle, and to capture Myrcella. Jamie reaches Myrcella first, but is unable to tear her away from Trystane. Then the Sand Snakes arrive and start fighting Jamie and Bronn. One of the Snakes almost steals Myrcella away, but the fight is stopped by the guard, Snakes, Jamie, and Bronn are all captured. Ellaria is busted too.
Olenna Tyrell is here to fix the Loras situation. She goes to speak to Cersei about how their alliance can be broken. Cersei says she did not arrest Loras and was not involved. A simple trial will be held by the High Sparrow and Loras will be free. When the trial happens, Loras denies sleeping with men. Margaery testifies for Loras that she knows he did not sleep with men. They bring in Olyvar, who sells out Loras, and since he claims Margaery saw them together, both Loras and Margaery are arrested. Thy will have a formal trial. Tommen, who was also there, does nothing.
In Winterfell, Myranda is sent by Ramsay to give a bath to Sansa (yeah, right). Myranda gossips about other women he’s been with, and how he gets bored of them so easily. Sansa says she’s not scared of Myranda and Myranda leaves very quickly. On the day of the wedding, Theon arrives to walk with her to the Godswood, but she refuses to take his arm. Their wedding is in the dark in the Godswood. They say their vows. In the bed chamber, Ramsay forces Sansa to strip and Theon to watch as Ramsay rapes her. We hear noises of her being hurt, but camera only shows Theon’s pained face.