I hate writing all this fluff when the important part is at the end. Skip to the end if you want to know the worst part of this episode. Why should I even put gifs? My whole life is a liiiiiiieeeeee.
Open to a thaw in the north. Stannis wants to ride to Winterfell. Melissandre says the Lord of Light has provided for them, but we get news that half the army deserted with the horses in the night (the sell swords). Then another lieutenant comes up and leads Stannis to the woods. His wife hung herself. And when he’s in the woods we find out that Melissandre has left the camp.
Next, Jon is retelling the story of the wights to Sam. He knows he’s made some unfavorable decisions, but Sam reminds him that he wasn’t liked when he first got to the Wall either. “Long may they sneer,” they toast. Sam asks Jon a favor. Sam wants to become a maester to protect Gilly and the baby. Jon allows him to go. Sam says he’ll come back.
Stannis marching toward Winterfell and they see it in the distance. Contrast to Sansa escaping out of her room. Pod sees Stannis army from their perch in the mountains. Sansa lights the candle. Brienne leaves before seeing it (anguish!). Approaching army of Winterfell rides to Stannis. It’s a horrible massacre, the whole of Stannis’ army is cut down in a fell swoop. However, cut to a shot of Stannis still alive in the wood. He’s approached by two soldiers, they fight and Stannis kills them, but he’s still injured. Brienne finds Stannis laying against a tree. Reminds Stannis that he killed his brother, Renley, her former Lord, with blood magic. He said that it was him. She gives him a death sentence and asks, “Do you have any last words?” “Go on, do your duty,” says Stannis. Beheading.
Ramsay in the field, killing left over Stannis supporters. At Winterfell, Sansa attempts to leave, but Myranda stops her and threatens to shoot her in the uterus, making her useless to Ramsay. Sansa makes a stand, “let me die with dignity.” Then, miraculously, Theon throws Myranda off the balcony and she dies. They jump off the side of a wall–in a presumed escape.
In Braavos, Ser Meryn is whipping young girls with a stick, but one doesn’t make a sound. It’s Arya disguised as a face she’s taken from the Faceless God. She removes the fake face and attacks him with a small knife, stabbing him in the eyes, then the chest. “You are no one,” she says as she cuts his throat. Back in the hall of faces, she goes to return the face she borrowed, but Jaqen sees her. The girl that’s been in the hall and Jaqen hold Arya. He says, “Only death can pay for life” and takes the poison meant for Arya. She jumps to the dead body, and cries over it. The girl asks, “why are you upset?” “He was my friend.” Jaquen, back in a different body, turns up behind them. Arya starts pulling faces off the body of Jaquen, eventually she reaches her own, then goes blind.
At the Dorne docks, Ellaria kisses Mrycella on the lips as a parting goodbye, the sand snakes and Doren Martell are there too to send off the party officially. Bronn says goodbye to the snake he’s been flirting with. Mrycella and Jamie have a heart to heart on the ship. Jamie is about to tell her he’s her father, but she says she already knew. They hug and it’s a lovely and tender moment. When the hug ends, Myrcella has a bloody nose and dies. She was poisoned by the lipstick Ellaria was wearing when she kissed her, the same poison the snakes had used on Bronn in the cell.
Tyrion, Daario, and Jorah are in the main throne room of Mereen. After some bickering, Daario and Jorah set off to find Dany, leaving Gray Worm, Tyrion and Missandre to govern the city. Varys finds Tyrion through his network of spies. Tyrion looks to Varys to help get information to handle the city.
Dany is on a mountain. Drogon is weak and tired and doesn’t want to fly back to Mereen. She goes in search of food, but she hears hoofbeats. Then a whole hoard of Dothraki surround her, and start swarming around her.
Cersei thinks she takes the easy way out of her containment and confesses. She seeks absolution. Confesses to sleeping with Lancel, but not Jamie, even though the High Sparrow pushes her on it. She will still have a trial, but she can return to the Red Keep, as long as she makes a walk of Atonement. She’s quickly bathed, then her hair is cut off. Outside, the High Sparrow shouts her sins then makes her walk naked through the city to the castle on the other side. The priestess who has been torturing her in her cell walks behind her with a bell, shouting “Shame” the ENTIRE walk. People on the street call her whore and cunt, start throwing food. Toward the end of the walk we can see it getting to her. She weeps when she reaches the inside of the castle. Quyburn, her mad scientist, is at her side to cover her in a robe. A reanimated Mountain carries her away, he is wearing armor and his face is dark purple.
[This is the worst part] At the wall, Davos is trying to convince Jon to send supplies to Stannis, but Jon refuses to get involved in the matters of the seven kingdoms. Then Melissandre shows up, she tells them that everyone’s dead, even Shireen (though she selectively doesn’t tell that she’s deserted or how Shireen died). Cut to the next scene, news of a Wildling who’s seen Jon’s uncle, Benjen. Jon goes outside to speak with said Wildling, but it’s a trap. He’s stabbed multiple times by members of the Night’s Watch, including his second in command, Alliser Thorne, and the young boy, Ollie. Jon dies in a mutiny.
Wears black forever. What is the point of watching :”””'(((((